CamCam's World

Broken Bed, France and Beyond

2007-10-13T05:44:00.000-07:00

Hello loyal readers (James). How are we all?

The last time I updated this was in JUNE apparently. Which is kinda awful and lazy. Who wants to hear about my summer?? You do?! HUZZAH!

Weeeell, when I wrote my last blog, I was still in the flat with Laura, living it up in Gorgie. Hooowever, we moved out at the end of June and went back to lovely lovely Penicuik to live with our respective mothers. After a few months of back-breaking labour in Tesco and bedsore-making lazing in Greg's flat, I moved to FRANCE for the first part of my year abroad. I've been here about 6 weeks now and it's pretty cool. Been going to classes (sometimes), eating baguettes, drinking cheap wine and trying to learn French. (Not much luck with the latter I'm afraid.) Rugby has also been a major theme....

In related news, something CRAZY happened the other night. I was in my bed sleeping, quite innocently, when my bed Snapped In Half. Obviously, i was a bit miffed. Soooo, i went and told Luce, my flatmate/landlady, about it and she was RAGIN. Sooo, I've basically had to replace the bed....costing me €650!! When I asked why I had to pay for it, she said that it must have been put under "unnecessary strain" when Greg was over....and then she did a little bouncy sex mime with her hands. Scandal! Totally not impressed. But, apart from that, France has been fine.

Having internet in my room is kinda a blessing. I live in the centre of town, miiiiiles away from everyone. So it gives me something to do at night, haha. Going out tonight for the rugby though!Woooo! England - France, who should I support? Hmmm.

Anyway, everyone remember to keep in touch. Gimme an email or something!

Au revoir xx

The Breakfast Poem

2007-06-06T15:42:00.000-07:00

Corn flakes,
Pancakes,
Coco Pops and toast,
These are the foodstuffs that we love the most.

Melon,
Muffins,
Muesli and more,
These are more things we aim to pour.........(into our bowls).

Breakfast in the morning,
Breakfast at night,
No matter really, as long as there's no fight....s.

Early mornings,
Lie-ins,
Ones in the middle about ten o'clock,
Not much rhymes with clock except cock.

*Yeah, yeah. Uh uh uh. Big rappa stylin, dis is MC Ready Brek and le DJ du Croissant. Bringin' you da breakfast rap.
Get up in da mornin, kickin wit yo breakfast hos. They so sexy. Bounce, bounce.
You like eggs? You like bacon? Switch it up, baby. See what we're makin.
Yaaaaaaa, we call dis da fry up.
But you need a few more stuff dan dat. Check it. You need -
Tattie scones, bitch. Black puddin, yea? Bratwurst, if you is German, sausage if yo is not.
Haggis?! Dat shit's naaaaasty man. You not gonna get that crazy sheep gut shit near dis boy.*

[Shut it dos-boy.]

Our Play - Scene 3

2007-06-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

Scene Three

The Duke awakens from his stupor on the floor. Noticing a cool draft, he pulls his tiny, tiny toga tightly around himself. He totters over to the window to make sure it hasn’t blown open while he was unconscious. Satisfied, he turns away again but screams like a little nancy girl when he notices the late Duchess standing behind him wearing what can only be described as a bright canary yellow cape, her hair styled neatly into two great buns at the side of her head.

The Duke – Oh!
The Duchess – Yes. Oh, indeed!

All of a sudden, a music box sitting in the farthest corner of the cavernous hall of plenty springs to life playing its eerie music, which echoes around the deadly silent hall and penetrates through the Duke and the Duchess.

The Duke – Oh! My dear! What are you doing here? I thought you were dead.
The Duchess – I am dead, you nonce. Why else would i be transparent? Clearly you didn’t pay much attention to me when I was in the land of the living.
The Duke - Oh, my dear. Of course I paid attention to you when you were alive, i could hardly miss you. You voluptuous dog, you. Now where has that butler got to with my soup?

(The Butler enters carrying a silver pot of hammy soup)

The Butler – Soup sir? I mean – oh, soup sir?
The Duke – Oh thank you, my man.

(The Duke eats his soup)

(A pause)

The Duke throws his empty bowl on the floor in a rage, grabs the Duchess and starts to spin.

The Duke – Let’s dance my snugglebunnyfluffs! Oh!
The Duchess – Oh, you rogue!

The Duchess jumps free from the Duke’s grasp. Puffing and panting, she points a furious finger at her husband. The Duke is struck by lightning and falls to the floor, charred.

The butler barks.

The transparent spirit of the late Duke floats from the charred heap on what can only be described as a stunningly tiled parquet floor (much like the floors of the Italian kings of yore).

The Duke – Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh no! Ooooh!

Our Play - Scene 2

2007-06-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

Scene Two

The Butler stands in the kitchen, muttering to himself whilst spooning some ham into a big pot. He’s making soup, don’t you know. A kettle boils in the distance – a metaphor, perhaps, for the boiling rage inside the Butler himself.

(The Butler barks)

Sleepover Madness

2007-05-30T16:13:00.000-07:00

Well hello. We are Heather and Cameron and we're sitting on bed drinking wine ETC. How are you all? We are going to write a story for your viewing/reading pleasure. OH YES, WE REALLY REALLY ARE. OH BABY.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr Shrewsbury sat down at his table and licked clean his plate of infinite love and contentment. Didn't he? Yes, he did. "Oh dear," said Mr Shrewsbury "perhaps I should buy a dishwasher."

Mrs Chaucinberry enters. "Perhaps you should," says she, spanking her own behind. "Yeehaw."

Fin.
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Comments on a postcard s'il vous plait.

Loobaloo

2007-05-18T04:13:00.000-07:00

Alooooha chappies....how do? This is the most pointless post ever....but a little websitey thing has told me i have to post a link or i can't download a free game :P Here it is :

http://free-game-downloads.mosw.com/

FUN

“Oh, A Play” by Cameron Millar and Laura Clark

2007-05-08T10:18:00.000-07:00

Act One

Scene One

The Duke sits alone in his cavernous hall of plenty. Sitting on his chaise-longue, wearing only what can be described as a tiny, tiny toga – made from the finest, finest red silk woven by the fattest of all the Chinese kings with a splendid leopard lining. He eats grapes with what can only be described as a spoon, much like in biblical times before the Romans came and banished spoons and replaced with what can only be described as sporks. He smokes his cigar slowly and deliberately with the skill of the oldest of all fishwife hags. He pauses to contemplate his wife’s sudden and complete death.

The Duke – Oh! My wife is dead! Oh! Dead, I say! Oh! So dead…. that dead doesn’t even begin to describe how dead she is!

(The Butlers enters in true butler style)

The Butler – Your brandy sir.
The Duke – Oh no! That’s not how we do things in this house…

(The Butler sighs)

The Butler – Sorry Sir. Oh your brandy-oh Sir!
The Duke – That’s more like it! Oh!
The Butler – Oh?
The Duke – Oh!
The Butler – Oh….quite.
The Duke - On a similar note, how have the begonias been doing lately old boy?
The Butler - I don’t think I’m the best person to ask sir. Gardener takes care of the begonias.
The Duke – Oh.

(The Butler slides out of the room…slowly)

(The Duke falls off his seat)

The Gregor Sleeps

2007-03-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

So my people, how are you?

I'm in bed, listening to some new Beyoncé and drinking Magners (score). I had a nice cosy night of DVDs planned for me and Greg-Greg buuuuuuut the wee scone's feeling a bit meh and has fallen asleep. 1...2...3...awwwwwwww. I think he's getting a cold or something. Bless. Anyway, I'm not tired at all yet....so i think I'm going to write some lovely blog...then drink more Magners...then maybe go and see if Laura is still up. Fun. She'll probably just be watching Band of Brothers though. Like the big war enthusiast she is.

Last night....i watched Return to Oz. And wet myself. Does anyone remember that film? It was fairly terrifying.....there were these horrible things called Wheelers (big scary men with wheels instead of hands and feet) and they cackle and shout. Sadness-making.

Greg looks a bit like Snow White sometimes....i've just realised...BUT WHERE ARE THE DWARVES?

Hasta Lueeeeego :)

2007-02-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

Sooooooooo folks, it's 2007!! Does that scare anyone else? In seven months...ill be LIVING ABROAD. Aaaaaaaaagh, the fear. Im scared about doing everyday tasks in a different language...like, what if I have to phone the bank? Or...buy some rolls!? Aaaaaagh. BUT! Im going to stay positive, for the kids. 2007 will be the Year of Cameron, im sure of it.

How was your new years? Mine was rather special, i must say. I started at big Gav's house...had a few beers (watched the game with the lads) then got a lift into the flat with all my stuff. FUN. Theeeeeeen, i headed along to Heather's for some crazy antics involving lots of wine...and dance mats haha :D I met a couple of Heather's little filmy people (score). Then, I FELL ASLEEP apparently and woke up at 3ish, how awful. I waaaaaalked home (half asleep), came into the flat and found two random girls in my bed (gasp). Buuuut, they were friends of Laura so i didnt batter them with big sticks.

Anyway, that seems like soooooooo long ago and the world has changed significantly since then. Oh, yes. First of all, i know where ill be staying next year (dun dun duuuuuun). I'll be in Nantes (France) for the first six months and Oviedo (Spain) for the second. How awfully exciting. The thing im most excited about is the FOOD I think. They have this thing in Oviedo called fabada apparently, which looks AMAZING. Its a stew of beans and pork! wooow.

I went to see Seth Lakeman tonight, fairly orgasmic. Watch this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcZMSmi4OOc I saw this live 3 hours ago! wooooooo.

ALSO, watch this one. It's quite nice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm8Yvac5Wr8

Well chaps, i should probably go now. Im rather sleeeeepy.

Boa Noite!

Jan and Cam take on the world, avec enthusiasm and love

2006-12-12T16:39:00.000-08:00

Oh my, hello. We are here today to bring forth the story of bones from the fiery loins of creativity. As one does. We shall begin now, yes, now. (Empezamos ahora, sí, ahora.)

The head-bone is connected to the neck-bone.
The neck-bone is connected to the shoulder-bone.
The shoulder-bone is connected to the arm-bone.
In cases of extreme disfiguration, the arm-bone is sometimes connected to the hip-bone. (Otherwise, just stop singing now.)
The hip-bone is connected to the leg-bone.
The leg-bone is connected to the metatarsal.

Educated, you are. Wisdom, we have imparted. You make me sick. Because i adore you so. Muse.

Love, Cam und Jan mit ein Apfel auf the top.

Btw,

2006-12-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

I just invented the word Rogenschoff.

Enjoy.

Funny Thought #1

2006-11-29T12:53:00.000-08:00

Well....I have a random thought to share with everyone.

The other night (Monday, i think it was), I couldn't sleep at allll. So i was just sitting in bed, twiddling my thumbs n' shit when I started to think about job interviews. Not sure why, but there we are. Soooo, i was thinking about all the stupid questions they ask you like..."Why do you want to work with our company?" or "What can you contribute to our team?". Etc. WELL, what if, instead of answering the questions normally....you just spoke the lyrics to My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas. :D

Por ejemplo:

*************************************************************
- "As you are probably aware, we will be interviewing several people for this particular post. So, tell me, why should we choose you? What qualities will you bring to our team?"
- "Well, they say im really sexy. They boys, they...eh...want to sex me. They're, like, always standing next to me. Always dancing next to me. Basically just trying to feel my hump (hump) and look at my lumps (lumps)."
- "Well...right....i think I've heard everything i need to hear. But before we finish up, are there any questions you wanted to ask me?"
- "Well, yes actually. I was just wondering what you were going to do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?"
- "......Right, well, we'll be in touch."
- "My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump."
- "....you know, im actually a very busy man."
- "My hump."
- "Get out."
*************************************************************

Hehehehe. Happiness. And remember : For you, Shakira would give up all she owned and move to a communist country. If you went with her, of course.

Danke und good night.

The Day of The Scones

2006-11-21T10:20:00.000-08:00

Aloha, I hope you're all well.

I have almost nothing of interest to report. I was supposed to have a busy busy day of uni today, starting at 9.15 (which means id have to get the bus about 7.30ish) BUT.....i managed to sleep in until 11.30. Oops. SO, i missed many many classes and that's never good. However, when i did get up, I decided that it would be a good idea to BAKE.

Now, those of you who know me well, will know that my culinary skills aren't the best. Better than Heather's (frozen/burnt pizza anyone?), but still rather shoddy. But today, i think i've surpassed myself.

First of all, i made scones. (No sultanas, they make me boke.) Which have turned out rather nice, except they didn't rise much. *Biscuity-Scones* Then, i made a chocolate chip cake. The recipe called for cherries...but naw. Anway, if you fancy a piece...let me know. Right now, im trying to learn some arabic...because i SUCK so much. We had a little test thing on monday and it was HIDEOUS. It made me realise that i know nothing. Wah :(

Songs of the day : Breathe Me - Sia, Antología - Shakira, This Side Of The Blue - Joanna Newsome and Ma Vie En Rose - Zazie. I suggest you buy them all.

Wellllll, i must be off now. Godspeed and that.

P.S I feel i should say hello to James as he's the only one who actually reads this. Hello James.

10 reasons why Mi Chico Latino is, in fact, a classic song

2006-11-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

Well...this is my first blog entry (EVER). Read it please. I stumbled upon this amazing song this evening while i was trying to avoid doing Arabic work (why would i want to learn the Arabic word for Cairo? Fuck off.) and i have decided that it has to be one of the best songs ever...Oh yes. There are many reasons why i believe this....

So, who actually remembers this song? If you don't remember the song itself, you HAVE TO remember the video. Geri (Halliwell, that is) was wearing a sexy wee black number and faffing about in the water with big dirty Spanish men (could their trunks be any smaller?)...it was during that phase when she actually looked good...you know the one. Anyway, the video is reason number one...gotta love it.
The way she randomly screeches "aaaay". Immense.
The intro. This is the kinda music that makes you want to stamp and clap. Yes, Stamp and Clap. She's exploring her musical roots (or something) and that's always nice. Wasn't her mum Spanish or something? Or Turkish maybe? She used to be a model on a Turkish gameshow when she was younger apparently, but im not sure why/how. But the intro is grand, nevertheless.
The wave effects. Are you on a beach? No. But she is, apparently. And that's nice.
The way she uses Spanish AND Italian in the chorus!!! Does she know what she's singing? I hope not, its better that way. But....THREE languages in one song? She breaks all the rules, that Geri.
The fact she uses three fire metaphors in one song. I heart you, Geri Halliwell.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93YUFh3W3gs Check out the RAGINGLY homosexual dancers. I dont think she'll be getting any latino love from them any time soon.
Refer to the link above.....is she wearing leggings??? Oh, Geri.
She cant ACTUALLY sing. Its brilliant. Nobody seems to notice/care. And why should they?
The rap in the middle. Possibly the best thing ive ever heard....Mi corazón con tormento...excuse me? Also, her voice is AMAZING at that point, she sounds like she's rapping from inside a tupperware box or something.

Well....that was my first blog...i should probably go and do some work now....at 00.47...oh well. Love you all.